Good food, sometimes kinda slow
The decent part of my meal was: the packaging. Chipotle has done a fantastic job of designing fun, aesthetically pleasing, and interesting bags and cups. I love reading about the company's values (none of which include making delicious food) while I fight my lunch like mike Tyson biting a chunk out of Holyfield's left ear.
This franchise is usually pretty good in other locations, but this location had a very bad condensation problem that caused water to drip everywhere. Many sections in the restaurant had "do not sit" signs posted because of the water problem. There were no wet floor signs.
The atmosphere was not what I am accustomed to with this franchise. The were not as upbeat in this location. The restaurant was very busy though, so I guess sales hides all faults. The HVAC issue really needs to be addressed.
Very good. Son loved the barbacoa. We got free sample of queso ... Thankfully it was free. That is N.O.T. queso y'all. That is trash. If I had paid for the queso, I would have given three stars.
All aspects of my dining experience considered, Chipotle is basically where you would want to go for vegetarian training. The meat is awful, so psychology takes over and you start thinking that the mush you're ingesting is satisfying and healthy. Next thing you know, you're mincing almonds and forming the resulting almond paste into the shapes of burgers and rib-eyes. You look down at your protruding rib-cage and think: "where did I go wrong?... why do I allow myself to pay $10 for a meal fit for Forrest critters?" Me and my $10 will be going elsewhere for burrito night. Oh and it gave me farts like you wouldn't believe. Never smelled anything like them.
Great restaurant! You can get a burrito if you're feeling really hungry, or 3 soft tacos if you want a little lighter meal. I usually get a burrito with black beans, brown rice, sofritas (tofu that tastes like taco beef), guacamole, and lettuce. You can also get half a lime for squeezing on.
When I order a burrito, I envision myself effortlessly biting into a warm, somewhat gooey, cheesy, protein-filled pocket of goodness. (Makes you think of Moe's doesn't it?) This was not so. After finally surpassing the initial 3 inches of rubberized flour, I was disappointed to find mouthfuls upon mouthfuls of limy rice. By this point, all of my maxillofacial muscles were exhausted from tearing their way through layers and layers of leathery tortilla substitute. Needless to say, I was more than ready for some tender, satisfying protein. The main event! To my utter dismay, the chicken was cold. On top of that, it was EXTREMELY salty. There was no chicken taste, or seasoning. All I tasted was salt. The texture was not much like chicken either. It was more like the consistency of an eyeball. As I am no cannibal, I can only imagine what it must be like to eat an eyeball. Sorry, a COLD eyeball. Hard and bouncy, but if you bite hard enough, it kinda pops and transforms into a repulsive conglomerate of tooth-resistant fibers. Yay. This meal is going well. So I spit out the the chicken and keep tearing into my $10 synthetic mush bag. Even the salsa was full of lime. Sour, puckering, distasteful LIME. I scooped it out with my fingers. I chose the diced tomatoes or "salsa" because the other salsa looked like the product of a GI bleed and a maximum dosage of blood-thinners. Unfortunately, the salsa I selected was 95% RADISHES, and 5% LIME. This would be fine if I were a RABBIT, but I am no RABBIT. I am a MAN. The cheese was okay. Nothing to write home in regards to cheese. Good job I guess... The chips were limed as well. Sour, stale chips? The chips were not crisp or crunchy either. They were cold, hard, thick, and they flexed like those bendy rulers we all used during our primary education. Contrary to what the bag told me, my flex chips did not complete my meal, or my order.
Chipotle is like, the opposite of yummy and delicious. Lime and rice wrapped in a soggy paper plate... Oh wait, I meant tortilla. The tortilla was chewy. It made devouring my sack of primarily limy vegetables and rice nearly impossible. I found myself pulling at the "tortilla" ferociously with my molars, simultaneously pulling it away from me with my arms, much like a starved sabertooth tiger would have pulled the hardened, leathery flesh from a frosted, week old mammoth carcass. This of course ended up with limy beans and rice all over the place, since I was wrenching it between my fists, wishing to eat what was within. The burrito I bought effectively expressed its will to survive. Chipotle should definitely leave the restaurant industry and begin manufacturing bullet proof vests because those tortillas are made of a polymer from a different dimension. Whatever those tortillas are made of beats Teflon, Kydex, and Kevlar OUTRIGHT. One thing is for sure, the next time I play no-rules street hockey with convicted felons, I'll be sure to pack some Chipotle tortillas to protect my knees and elbows.
Chipotle Mexican Grill is a US Restaurant based in Auburn, Alabama. Chipotle Mexican Grill is located at 346 W Magnolia Ave, Auburn, AL 36832, USA.
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